In the midst of last season, QPR manager Ian Holloway famously drew parallels between his side’s performance and coming home with a conquest after a night on the town. In a manner not unfamiliar to fans of The Office he said: “To put it in gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, you’ve done what you set out to do. We didn’t look our best today but we’ve pulled.”
“Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they’re not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let’s have coffee.”
Clearly, I’ve been trying to crowbar that quote into an article for some time but I think Villa fans can make a similar comparison. So often do we go to bed after another resolute if unremarkable performance, filled with optimism that the next day could mark the dawn of a fruitful relationship, only to wake the next morning with the realisation that our hopes were erroneous. In some lights our bedfellows are in fact, “Minging” to borrow from another managerial post-match analysis, this time courtesy of Graeme Souness.
David O’Leary’s reaction to yesterday’s result was highly redolent of the Blackburn Rovers manager, though while Souness often seems to have a point (Southampton’s penalty on Saturday, for example), his Villa counterpart usually seems to miss his. O’Leary’s protestations surrounded an incident in the 18th-minute with Villa already 1-0 up after Olof Mellberg had outjumped the West Brom defence to nod home Thomas Hitzlsperger’s left-wing free-kick on four minutes. In an action-replay of the goal, only this time from a corner, Mellberg again towered above the home defence, but this time Paul Robinson cleared even though the ball had appeared to cross the line.
The goal would have given the visitors a two-goal cushion, but referee Mark Halsey thought otherwise and the game continued with Gary Megson’s men gradually hauling themselves back into a game that for the first 20 minutes had looked to be running away from them. After further chances for Carlton Cole and Gareth Barry, West Brom equalised, only slightly against the run of play, just before half-time when an unmarked Neil Clement headed in Jonathan Greening’s right-wing free-kick after Martin Laursen was dubiously adjudged to have fouled Geoff Horsfield.
Villa’s midfield of Hitzlsperger and Gavin McCann and the sluggish form of wide men Barry and Nolberto Solano is simply too lightweight to contend for a UEFA Cup place. O’Leary might be forced to redirect his overtures from James Beattie when he considers that his midfield was effectively overrun by Clement, Greening and impressive substitute Zoltan Gera. At least Holloway could be consoled by taking the girl home: Villa didn’t even get to second base.